Along with insufficiency...

On occasion I find myself invaded with bouts of emotions. Not so long ago when talking to a dear soul he asked me if I was sure they were my own. I've asked myself but cannot come up with an answer I jut become entangled with uncertainty. I feel as though I were oscillating between layers of either feeling to much or too little, my emotional cartography feels increasingly desolate at some stages, it also has a tendency to shift quite suddenly. I began to read "Howl's Moving Castle" when a feel began to wash over me. The last days I've been thinking of the measures I ought to take for my own benefit and towards finding harmony between my different bodies.

Thoughts During the Train Underwater...

    On the subway ride I kept thinking about the gap between one wants to do and what is actually done. I kept thinking about people, myself included, in situations that fail to full fill us. It seem a tragedy that on many occasions day go by when we are vessels filled with a longing to be immersed in a different activity. I've been going through a strange patch of the blues, a haze of blue in a way seems to have permeated into my immediate existence. This lacking has become a definite presence in my thoughts, it lurks darkly and silently when my attention is engaged elsewhere and before I can halter its movement it has found me again, vulnerable and receptive. I find that it is vital to explore my feelings, only by diving in can I regain inner balance and further understanding of myself.
     But I meant go along a different route, I began to take steps for the time and actions I need in my life. May this haze lift from my thoughts once it all begins to fold in and unite. The act of exploring this through writing already has helped.

The other notion that came to my head often during the ride was that of possibility.

Will continue...