Showing posts with label Suicide. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Suicide. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Conversations About Virginia Woolf, Vampires, and How to Commit Suicide....

        Yesterday was my fist day of summer classes Biology I and Biology Lab not exactly a fun class that will absorb my mind, but when faced with the thought of doing it for a month now or an entire semester doing it now seem like the much nicer option; I don't doubt that my future self will appreciate it. It was just lab safety dos and don'ts so I got off about an hour and a half early. I wandered about campus looking for a cool place to be, I wound up at Starbucks. After some tea a string of events led me shatter a long held belief that I do not like to talk on the telephone. A friend and I had had trouble communicating for a couple of days now, so I gave him a good trip call. A conversation with this particular friend can brand from amusing to something that will bring a bit of enlightenment. After conversing for a bit I was abruptly asked "What do you know about Virginia Woolf?" I knew nothing, half a second later I began to learn about her, about a movie (one that I had been meaning to watch, ah the wonderful circles of life) The Hours and how Woolf had committed suicide, she filled her clothing with stones and then jumped to a river. leaving a beautiful letter to her husband.
               Dearest, I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can't go through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don't think two people could have been happier 'til this terrible disease came. I can't fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can't even write this properly. I can't read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that – everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer. I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been. V
           After hearing this letter and reading it we began to ponder on how we would commit suicide, never with water drowning is dreadful, perhaps jumping off a building? my friend felt that it was the quickest and surest way since taking shooting oneself is not certain there is always the chance that you might miss and just take a long time to die, or end up paralyzed, wrist slitting would not even be considered since I faint at the sight of blood, however I would opt for jumping off a bridge, just make sure that it is high enough my friend decided that jumping of an airplane and not using his parachute. Strange, strange conversations but after discussing suicide for a bit we concluded with the thought that we did not and hoped to never commit suicide. After wishing him a safe trip and a talk about vampires we said good bye, and it dawned on me, I had been on the phone for a little over an hour, perhaps I don't mind phone talking the way I had always thought so. And a perfect ending to a blog entry, albeit completely unrelated, a lovely the Little Prince image.